Soul Shelf: Polyvagal Exercises for Safety and Connection

Sometimes the books we return to again and again are the ones that help us understand ourselves more deeply.

In this edition of Soul Shelf, we are exploring Polyvagal Exercises for Safety and Connection by Deb Dana. This book offers simple, compassionate practices for befriending the nervous system and learning how to move toward greater feelings of safety, connection and ease. For anyone interested in nervous system regulation, yoga, breathwork or emotional wellbeing, Deb Dana’s work offers an incredibly helpful lens.

What does it mean to befriend the nervous system?

Many of us move through life trying to control our stress or push through difficult emotions. Deb Dana offers a different perspective.

Rather than trying to fix ourselves, she invites us to build a relationship with our nervous system. The nervous system (or our safety system) is constantly scanning our environment for signals of safety or danger. This process happens automatically and influences how we feel, think and respond to the world. When we begin to understand this process, we can start to respond with curiosity and compassion instead of judgment. Befriending the nervous system means learning to notice what state we are in and gently supporting our body back toward a sense of safety.

What is polyvagal theory?

Deb Dana’s work builds on polyvagal theory, developed by neuroscientist Stephen Porges. This theory helps explain how our nervous system shifts between different states. Three broad states are often described:

Ventral vagal (safety and connection)
When we feel calm, present and open to others.

Sympathetic activation (mobilisation)
When the body moves into action, stress or anxiety.

Dorsal vagal (shutdown or collapse)
When the system withdraws, often leading to numbness or exhaustion.

Understanding these patterns helps us see that many of our reactions are not personal failings. They are biological responses designed to keep us safe. This awareness can bring a great deal of relief.

Why nervous system awareness matters in everyday life

Modern life can place the nervous system under constant stimulation. Notifications, deadlines, noise and information overload mean the body rarely receives signals that it is safe to fully relax.

Over time this can lead to feeling:

• chronically tired
• anxious or overwhelmed
• emotionally numb
• disconnected from ourselves

Learning to work with the nervous system rather than against it can help restore a sense of balance. Small practices such as conscious breathing, gentle movement, time in nature or meaningful conversation can all send signals of safety to the body. The signs of a healthy nervous system isn’t that we never get thrown off, but that we have the flexibility to notice, adjust and come back to that feeling of safety.

Practices for nervous system regulation

One of the most helpful aspects of Deb Dana’s book is how practical it is. The exercises are simple and accessible, offering ways to gently support the nervous system throughout the day.

Some examples include:

Orienting to safety

Pause and look around your environment. Notice colours, shapes or objects that feel pleasant or comforting. This helps the nervous system register that the present moment is safe.

Breath awareness

Slow, steady breathing can signal to the body that it is safe to relax.

Connection with others

Supportive conversation, eye contact and shared experiences can activate the part of the nervous system associated with safety and social connection. Co-regulation is a central concept in her work.

These practices may seem small, but over time they help build greater nervous system resilience.

How yoga and breathwork support the nervous system

Many of the principles in Deb Dana’s work resonate deeply with yoga and mindfulness practices. Gentle yoga, breathwork and meditation all help create conditions where the nervous system can shift toward safety and regulation.

Movement helps release stored tension in the body.
Breathwork influences the autonomic nervous system.
Mindfulness practices cultivate awareness and presence.

When these practices are experienced over several days in a retreat setting, their effects can deepen even further.

Why this book belongs on the Meala Soul “Soul Shelf”

At Meala Soul, much of the work centres around creating spaces where people can slow down, reconnect and feel safe enough to soften. Understanding the nervous system helps explain why practices such as yoga, breathwork, creativity and time in nature can feel so nourishing. Deb Dana’s work reminds us that healing does not come from pushing harder or doing more.

Often it begins with something simpler.

Listening to the body.
Meeting ourselves with curiosity.
And gradually learning how to move toward safety and connection.

For anyone interested in nervous system wellbeing, polyvagal theory or trauma informed practices, this is a beautiful and practical book to explore.

A gentle reflection

As you move through your day, you might pause and ask yourself:

What signals of safety can I offer my nervous system right now?

Perhaps it is a few slow breaths, a walk outside, a moment of stillness or a conversation with someone you trust.

Small gestures of care can have a profound effect over time.